European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of
the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English' .
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump
with joy.
The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be
replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter..
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible..
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a real sensibl riten styl..
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of
a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas..
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
- anonymous source
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Facebook News
Okay, so it's been sometime since I've written. I've written enough papers for me to think more about writing.
Before the semester begins, however, and before the papers yet to be written begin to pile up, let me vent yet again... this time about Facebook.
A friend has announced her pregnancy the day after taking a home test pregnancy, ON FACEBOOK.
I don't understand how people use these online networking sites to herald some of the biggest news of their lives. Never mind heralding such big news to strangers (let's face it, most of our closest friends either don't have a facebook, or never really use them, leaving most of those in our "friends list" more acquaintances than friends), at such a time that these types of news should not even be mentioned within the family circle until the danger period (the first trimester) ends. Big news as such should be given personally.
I'm not sure about my friend, but I do like to see the faces and the reactions of my loved ones when I tell them my story.
To be honest, I faked a surprise tone when this particular friend in question called to tell me the news. Her husband had actually betrayed the news the day before she did... and it wasn't that exciting. Don't get me wrong, the news is wonderful and I couldn't be happier. I just found out in a not so exciting way.
Also, last I checked, Facebook is NOT Twitter.
I don't really care what you're doing every minute of the day. I don't give a shit what you're eating or what you've eaten for dinner. Unless you're inviting or you are sharing, what is the point?
I truly hate it when people drown my homepage with their trivial profile posts. If you're bored, read the news, and share anything that which seems interesting. Do something more intellectually stimulating. I couldn't care less as to which Sex and the City character you are. I really don't give a damn about your IQ score because really, you've just demonstrated it.
At the end of the day, you've just trifled your status with your friends.
As much as I love Facebook, I hate that it's taken away true intimacy from relationships. I love that I can connect with old friends and new friends alike from all over the world, but I hate how it trivializes the friendship.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
"Once" (the movie)...
It then made me think whether we should go back...
...hmm, just a thought.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Asian Grump
First of all, I am not Asian. But as we, Pacific Islanders, are deemed to be Asians anyway, out of ignorance, I will, for today, consider myself an Asian-American.
Now, as an Asian-American, thus holding the right to associate myself with the Asians, I have the right to criticize my own race. Much like how only blacks can criticize their own race otherwise anyone else, unless he/she is partly black and looks a slight resemblance of being black, would be called a racist, I can, without being called a racist, assess some of my Asian counterparts.
To be clear, when I say Asians, I mean those who very much associate themselves more to their home country's culture, or nationality, than to the American culture. In other words, I speak of the FOBs.
Dear Asians,
Why are you so grumpy when you come across another person but your fellow countrymen? Is it so expensive to give a nod, or is it too difficult just as to smile ever so slightly? Is it against your moral value or culture to acknowledge the presence of another person? Does it give you satisfaction to stare?
Granted, some of you might have had a bad day, and we are all entitled to a bad day, but no one has a bad day everyday.
Okay, so some of you might be shy or a bit intimadated. So look the other way or don't look at all?
Sincerely,
Your not so Asian neighbor.
Now, as an Asian-American, thus holding the right to associate myself with the Asians, I have the right to criticize my own race. Much like how only blacks can criticize their own race otherwise anyone else, unless he/she is partly black and looks a slight resemblance of being black, would be called a racist, I can, without being called a racist, assess some of my Asian counterparts.
To be clear, when I say Asians, I mean those who very much associate themselves more to their home country's culture, or nationality, than to the American culture. In other words, I speak of the FOBs.
Dear Asians,
Why are you so grumpy when you come across another person but your fellow countrymen? Is it so expensive to give a nod, or is it too difficult just as to smile ever so slightly? Is it against your moral value or culture to acknowledge the presence of another person? Does it give you satisfaction to stare?
Granted, some of you might have had a bad day, and we are all entitled to a bad day, but no one has a bad day everyday.
Okay, so some of you might be shy or a bit intimadated. So look the other way or don't look at all?
Sincerely,
Your not so Asian neighbor.
Monday, June 2, 2008
What the gas...
What the hell?
Friday, May 9, 2008
How to Get a Lifeguard Out Into the Water
1. Make sure there's a rip current.
2. Put on your wet suit.
3. Swim out to the deep.
4. Body surf without fins.
You don't even have to look like you're drowning.
Yeah, that's exactly what happened to me last Saturday. I was teaching a few students how to surf. I thought I'd take some waves myself, but thought better and allowed the students to play with the 3 surf boards our program have. I wasn't even in the deep. The water was just right to my chest, where the breakers were.
2. Put on your wet suit.
3. Swim out to the deep.
4. Body surf without fins.
You don't even have to look like you're drowning.
Yeah, that's exactly what happened to me last Saturday. I was teaching a few students how to surf. I thought I'd take some waves myself, but thought better and allowed the students to play with the 3 surf boards our program have. I wasn't even in the deep. The water was just right to my chest, where the breakers were.
Me: "Are you here for me?"
Hot lifeguard: "Ah, yes, but you look okay. Are you?"
Me: "I'm fine."
Hot lifeguard: "Actually, can you just do me a favor. Since you don't have flippers, can you stay in the shallows?"
He walked away.
Yeah, sure Mr. hot lifeguard. What do you propose I do in the shallows? Jump with the waves like a stupid girl trying to look cute for her stupid boyfriend? No thanks. I'd rather drown.
So, there you go.
Monday, April 14, 2008
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